It was January, 1997 – a cold, blustery day with sunshine in full throttle…I sat in my car, unaware that I was about to make a decision that the very breath of existence hinged upon. All around me, there was a battle raging in the heavenlies over my weary-worned soul, the forces of evil fighting intensely with the forces of Sonship...one side fighting for death, one side fighting for life.
Straight down through that sun-filled sky, the Lord of the Universe beckoned me to Himself. The election, the Call—so strong that I couldn’t resist. Heavy-ladened and sin-stained, I fell into the arms of the Son. The Son held me with nail-scarred hands, the Father nodded His approval. While eruption of applause of deafening proportions filled the heavenlies, my soul experienced an eruption of another sort. Supernatural peace flooded in, squelching the chaos and noise that had filled it just moments before.
I experienced my very first brush with faith that day, initiated in me by a Father through the grace of His Son. The Divine Paintbrush reached down and lavished His first bit of color on His masterpiece. A hue of brilliant color began the painting, as I put my confidence and assurance in that which I could not see. The nail scarred hands embraced mine, and we began to walk together, my Companion and I.
Over the coming years, the colors my painting lacked would be added little by little, one faith step at a time. You see, God deepens and strengthens our faith along the journey of our life’s experiences. My faith walk had begun steady footed, but it was in need of some testing. We are told in 1 Peter 1:7 that we face trials so that our faith can be proven genuine in order that Jesus Christ may be glorified and honored. Yes, my faith would need to be proven genuine, and only walking some mileage with Him could accomplish that.
The next thirteen years proved to offer a variety of mileage for my walk of faith. There were seasons of down-hill coasts with the wind pushing me along, and there were uphill climbs with gusts so strong I thought I might not make it. There was treacherous terrain and there was safe, stable ground. My Guide, my Companion, my Jesus holding my hand through it all.
My first mountain pass came with the death of my mother in 2008. All that we experienced in that hospital on the day of her passing can be summed up in a few desperate phrases:
mistaken doctors, mishaps, chaos, confusion…gasping, gasping, gasping for breath…praying, begging for God’s intervention...more confusion…more gasping…code blue sirens…doctor’s rushing…life passing on…stillness.
I sat in that cold, dark, waiting room—in the deafening stillness--with a myriad of questions imprinted on my soul:
‘God, where were you? Where were you? Why did you abandon us? How could you have been in the midst of –of that?’
My faith walk was in a moment of crisis. There was a fork in the road and I had a decision to make. Which way would I go? Both directions included a steep hill climb over treacherous mountains. The only difference between the two paths was that one offered my Companion with nail scarred hands and the other I would walk alone.
I didn’t make my decision immediately. I fumed. I paced. I yelled. I cried. I sulked. I finally spoke it outloud:
‘But you abandoned me when I needed you most. Can I trust you? Really? Can I?’
There. I had said it. How relieving it is to throw off the mask and speak the truth, even ugly truth.
I waited. I braced myself for the blasting dissertation that Job experienced when he, too, questioned God.
It never came. Instead, God beckoned me to Himself with His all-encompassing height-and- depth love.
‘Dear Child, take my hand and bring me your hard questions, even the ugly ones. This is going to require a step by step walk of focusing on Me and not on the rough terrain of circumstances. Remember, true faith is not faith at all if you are not willing to tarry when things look bleak.’
He stretched out His hand. Timidly, I took the nail-scarred one in mine and let Him lead me along the path. Step by step through the grief and unanswered questions of the weeks to come, I learned that faith is stretched, refined and deepened through the deepest valleys. I wrestled through many faith-filled questions such as: Was I really living with an eternal perspective? Or was the here and now, my focus? If the Lord chose to take home another loved one, would I be okay with that? It’s easy to praise Him when things are going well, but what about when they aren’t? Am I going to praise Him even in the hard? Would I be able to say as Job had, ‘the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord?’
Zechariah 8:10 kept me afloat during those days. I don’t know how many times a day I quoted ‘the joy of the Lord is my strength’—more than I could count. Hebrews 4:12 tells us that ‘His Word is living and active…’ I can attest to that, for God took those Words right off the page in Zech. 8:10 and breathed them straight into me. Step by step I experienced His joy and His strength within the grief. Step by step, my faith in Him became stronger and deeper. Step by step I learned not to be marred by life’s circumstances. Step by faithful step, the Master Painter added new colors to His masterpiece.
I am thankful He took me through a crisis of faith when He did. He knew that it would be the training grounds needed to face the years 2010 and 2011.
2010 was the year that we lost two grandparents, an aunt and an uncle. 2010 was the year that Eric’s pay decreased by less than half while he had to work harder and travel more than he ever had in all of his career. 2010 was the year that Eric would be laid out flat with back pain for two weeks. 2010 was the year that he would lose his job just days after his back went out and just days before Thanksgiving.
Strange that his termination occurred amidst the Thanksgiving season. Because that is exactly how God taught us to tarry through these difficulties—with thanksgiving.
As we walked forth in obedience, choosing to thank Him in our adverse circumstances, He began to transform our hearts. Stone by stone, the hard wall in my heart came down. Down came stones of bitterness, down came stones of self-pity, down came stones of entitlement. A river of liberation flowed in its place, one of life-giving peace and joy. Phil. 4:6-7 tells us ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.’
Sure, I had read these verses a thousand times, even memorized them! Yet, only when I began putting the ‘thanksgiving part‘ of these verses into practice did I begin to experience this truth. You see, voicing our thanksgiving to our Savior must precede experiencing His all-surpassing peace. It must.
As we have been thanking Him for the hard things, we are learning another important lesson: Our hope is not in a job, nor is it in money or any kind of security this world has to offer. No. Our hope is in Him and Him alone. Thus, whether He provides a job or not, He wants us to continually praise Him, praise Him, praise Him. While waiting on the Lord for His timing can be excruciatingly difficult, we are learning life’s biggest lessons are most often learned in His waiting room. Faith-building lessons of the holiest sort. We are learning by experience what it means to trust Him for our ’daily manna’, for daily manna just happens to be His strong suit. We have been keeping a thankful journal and we are up to 128 ways the Lord has provided for us so far on this journey. We’re truly speechless by all the ways God has come through for us as Jehovah Jireh (the Lord will provide). We have seen answers to specific prayers when He provided a washer for us when ours went out. He has provided specific amounts of money right when we were in need. He provided a way to pay for a new transmission when ours quit. He has provided vehicles to drive when we have needed them. When our sewage backed up into our house, MSD fixed it for free. Over and over, when we have had a need, God has shown up to meet it. Through His faithful provision, our faith has been strengthened. Provision upon provision…brush stroke upon brush stroke…paint is being added to my canvas of faith, my husband’s canvas of faith, and our childrens’ canvases of faith.
Mile after mile, step after step, my faith walk isn’t over yet; it’s in process, as is yours. Your journey will probably look much different than mine. He uniquely plans each of our walks of faith for two sole purposes: 1.) that we will become more and more dependent upon Him and 2.) that Jesus will be glorified in the highest.
Paint stroke upon paint stroke, the Artist of Artists will add paint to each of our canvases of faith until the day He leads us home…until then, may we grab hold of that nail-scarred hand, keeping our eyes off of our light and momentary circumstances and keeping our gaze upon the Author and perfector of our Faith.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Chronicles of the O's Opening Day
Wednesday, May 11, 2011, 7:00 AM. The O pops his head around the wall into the kitchen, teeth-filled grin bigger than his face.
"It's my first baeball bame!"
Immediately followed by:
"Can I put on my baeball oonifoam?"
The mom of perfection ten years ago would not have yielded to such a request. Get a uniform dirty for opening day??? No way. But this mom of five has been around the block a few times...she knows that bacon grease and syrup on a uniform is small potatoes. Today there are way bigger fish to fry than uniform presentation. She nods in compliance without batting an eye.
At 7:35 AM the mom gets one of those uncanny mom premonitions. It tells her to make sure the glove is secure for tonight's game. This manager of chaos is usually not one to follow through with such thoughts ten hours before game time. That would be--just too on top of things. But today something makes her scan the shelves in the garage for little man's glove.
It's 7:40 in the morning on opening day and the O's glove is no where to be found. Lost. Left behind on a bleacher somewhere. The O doesn't take the news very well:
And the first fit is thrown nearly before the dawn of the rooster crow.
Big brother Jeremiah tries to save the day by going and getting his glove out of this bag: 'Look O! You can use my glove...oh no... MMMOOOOMMMM! THIS IS BEN'S GLOVE!'
Ben? Whose Ben? (and by the way, whose on first, Abbott?)
Teammate to big brother Ben, that's who. Whose glove happens to look a whole lot like big brother's, resulting in a switch-a-roo..or would that be a switch-a-who? (is it just me, or is this starting to sound like Dr. Suess?)
'No worries, O. This is so exciting! You get to use Jeremiah's teammate Ben's glove for your first game ever! Isn't that special?'
High maintenance youngest sibling of five isn't buying it.
Recovery is looking unlikely, but then Miss Shell shows up with a special something something to commemorate opening day:
And the face does a 360.
Cupcakes with plastic baseballs save the day...once more, all is right in the world.
Shortly after the sugar consumption, I announce the next surprise:
OPENING DAY HAIRCUTS!
At this point in the day, eldest son Joshua, whose concern for justice is of utmost importance, pulls me aside:
'Wow--pictures, cupcakes, haircuts, more pictures...you sure are making a big deal about this first game. Did you make this big of a deal about my first game?'
Buddy, go open the cabinet in the basement and pull out scrapbook, volume #7. On page 250, you'll find a ten page spread, I'm sure of it.
Phew. Glad those middle kids...what's their names...didn't pose that question.
So we mosey on down to the Sports Clips and this momma has a trump card in our back pocket...and she's so excited to pull it out, yes she is. The last of the pack needs some trumpet noise--some announcing--every now and then. A trump card of the Mr. T. variety:
One last look, Mimi:
And back to our red-neck roots we go:
The 'out-in-your-face-here-I-am' kind of do. A mohawk-sportin', red-neck stylin' grand-son. Mimi is so proud. I know she is.
So with the buzz of the clippers, the O's capacity for trouble just grew ten-fold. Or, more accurately, just exposed what was already there. (Who just knocked that kid down? It was the boy with the mohawk. Who is throwing a fit out there in the field? The boy with the mohawk. Who is stomping off from his parents again? Oh, just the boy with the mohawk.) Yep. No hiding now... No longer able to hide under the innocent locks of brown hair. No longer.
The O is in his element, his prime. It fits like a glove, and he can't lose this one I might add.
And finally, finally, it's 6:00 PM--the moment we've all been waiting for.
And a slew of 'firsts' for this four-year-old happens in a matter of minutes.
His first National Anthem:
His first team huddle:
His first time to field (sportin' Ben somebody-or-other's glove):
First up to bat (with dad's assistance):
First time to score:
And amidst all his 'firsts', his fan club cheers him on:
Of course, in O fashion, he pretends to ignore the signs. He pretends to ignore the friends, the Mimi, the aunt and cousin cheers. He tries to look all unaffected...but the smile seeping out of the corner of his pretend somberness gives him away. Later, when it's safe to care, he'll talk non-stop about all the people that came to share in his day of firsts.
O boy, you are one-of-a-kind. You might be number five, but you're the first to ever sport a mohawk in this family. And sport it well I might add. Crooked smilin' mohawkin stylin'. Yep. It suits you. It suits you just fine.
So thankful to share in this day of firsts with you...we love you O-ee-O.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Waiting
Some glorious morn--but when? Ah, who will say?
The steepest mountain will become a plain,
And the parched land be satisfied with rain.
The gates of brass all broken; iron bars,
Transfigured, form a ladder to the stars.
Rough places plain, and crooked ways all straight,
For him with with a patient heart can wait.
These things will be on God's appointed day:
It may not be tomorrow--yet it may.
~Author unknown
The steepest mountain will become a plain,
And the parched land be satisfied with rain.
The gates of brass all broken; iron bars,
Transfigured, form a ladder to the stars.
Rough places plain, and crooked ways all straight,
For him with with a patient heart can wait.
These things will be on God's appointed day:
It may not be tomorrow--yet it may.
~Author unknown
Monday, May 16, 2011
Thoughtful Quotes to Get Me Through a Tired, Rainy, Monday Morning
You did not do anything to achieve your salvation, but you must do something to exhibit it. You must "work out your own salvation" which God has worked in you already (Phil. 2:12). Are your speech, your thinking, and your emotions evidence that you are working it "out"? If you are still the same miserable, grouchy person, set on having your own way, then it is a lie to say that God has saved and sanctified you. ~Oswald Chambers
Many prayers of believers are hindered by Satan. Yet you do not need to fear when your unanswered prayers are piling up, for soon they will break through like a flood. When that happens, not only will your answers flow though but they will also be accompanied by new blessings. ~Streams in the Desert
Hell works the hardest on God's saints. The most worthy souls will be tested with the most pressure and the highest heat, but heaven will not desert them. ~William L. Watkinson
Obedience is the fruit of faith; patience is the early blossom on the tree of faith. ~Christina Rossetti
Happy are they who give themselves to God! They are delivered from their passions, from the judgments of others, from their malice, from the tyranny of their sayings, from their cold and wretched mocking, from the misfortunes which the world distributes to wealth, from the unfaithfulness and inconstancy of friends, from the wiles and snares of the enemy, from our own weakness, from the misery and brevity of life, from the horrors of a profane death, from the cruel remorse attached to wicked pleasures, and in the end from the eternal condemnation of God. We are delievered from this countless mass of evils, because placing our will entirely in the hands of God, we want only what God wants, and thus we find his consolation in faith, and consequently hope in the midst of all sufferings. What weakness it would be then to fear to give ourselves to God and to undertake too soon so desirable a state! ~Francois Fenelon
Many prayers of believers are hindered by Satan. Yet you do not need to fear when your unanswered prayers are piling up, for soon they will break through like a flood. When that happens, not only will your answers flow though but they will also be accompanied by new blessings. ~Streams in the Desert
Hell works the hardest on God's saints. The most worthy souls will be tested with the most pressure and the highest heat, but heaven will not desert them. ~William L. Watkinson
Obedience is the fruit of faith; patience is the early blossom on the tree of faith. ~Christina Rossetti
Happy are they who give themselves to God! They are delivered from their passions, from the judgments of others, from their malice, from the tyranny of their sayings, from their cold and wretched mocking, from the misfortunes which the world distributes to wealth, from the unfaithfulness and inconstancy of friends, from the wiles and snares of the enemy, from our own weakness, from the misery and brevity of life, from the horrors of a profane death, from the cruel remorse attached to wicked pleasures, and in the end from the eternal condemnation of God. We are delievered from this countless mass of evils, because placing our will entirely in the hands of God, we want only what God wants, and thus we find his consolation in faith, and consequently hope in the midst of all sufferings. What weakness it would be then to fear to give ourselves to God and to undertake too soon so desirable a state! ~Francois Fenelon
Monday, May 9, 2011
In Honor of My Mom...A Day Late and a Dollar Short
Well, it's not surprising that this post is a day late. Because my mom was kind of characterized by being late :) . 'A day late and a dollar short.' -- I don't know if my mom ever said this, but she probably did. Because she was famous for busting out little quotes like this and then laughing herself silly at what she had just said. And that quote fits her nicely, actually. She didn't have a whole lot in the way of monetary things. But in the end, none of that really matters, does it.
It's who you lived it for that matters.
My mother passed away on Feb. 17, 2007. She was the picture of sacrifice. She never, ever did anything for herself. She sacrificed her personal time, her money, her whole life really, for us. She was one of the most giving persons I know. She raised five children all by herself and somehow kept her sanity--well, maybe partly kept her sanity :) . She always had time to talk on the phone, watch her grandkids, listen to our 'funny' stories. She had an off-the-wall sense of humor. She had a beautiful smile and fun laugh. She didn't have a materialistic bone in her body. Now, don't get me wrong. She wasn't perfect. There were times she made me mad (really mad, if I'm going to be honest! :) ) But one thing is for sure, she was ALWAYS there for us. And she loved us more than her own life. Since her death, I have learned so much from thinking back over her life. I have gotten a small human 'glimpse' of Jesus and his sacrifice for me in the sacrificial life my mom lived for my siblings and me. Jesus died for me so that I could live; my mom died to her own 'life' so that I could have the life I now have.
This year was the first year that I can really say that I enjoyed Mother's Day--that it was more joyful for me than it was sad. One of time's healing aspects, I suppose. Before this year, the void was just too big. It brought with it a stream of raw emotions. The void is definitely still there, but it is not as painful. I can look back on those memories now and--just enjoy. And look around me at my five dear children and--just enjoy. Exactly what my mom would want me to do on a day designed to celebrate motherhood.
It's who you lived it for that matters.
My mother passed away on Feb. 17, 2007. She was the picture of sacrifice. She never, ever did anything for herself. She sacrificed her personal time, her money, her whole life really, for us. She was one of the most giving persons I know. She raised five children all by herself and somehow kept her sanity--well, maybe partly kept her sanity :) . She always had time to talk on the phone, watch her grandkids, listen to our 'funny' stories. She had an off-the-wall sense of humor. She had a beautiful smile and fun laugh. She didn't have a materialistic bone in her body. Now, don't get me wrong. She wasn't perfect. There were times she made me mad (really mad, if I'm going to be honest! :) ) But one thing is for sure, she was ALWAYS there for us. And she loved us more than her own life. Since her death, I have learned so much from thinking back over her life. I have gotten a small human 'glimpse' of Jesus and his sacrifice for me in the sacrificial life my mom lived for my siblings and me. Jesus died for me so that I could live; my mom died to her own 'life' so that I could have the life I now have.
This year was the first year that I can really say that I enjoyed Mother's Day--that it was more joyful for me than it was sad. One of time's healing aspects, I suppose. Before this year, the void was just too big. It brought with it a stream of raw emotions. The void is definitely still there, but it is not as painful. I can look back on those memories now and--just enjoy. And look around me at my five dear children and--just enjoy. Exactly what my mom would want me to do on a day designed to celebrate motherhood.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
The Destructible Sin of Pride
Pride--the sin that got Satan himself thrown out of heaven. The sin that I would daresay is the most dangerous and blinding. The one we often have a hard time seeing in ourselves. The sin that has self at the core like no other.
Lately, one of our children has been struggling with this sin. Now I know we are all going to struggle with pride to some degree because we are human. Since the fall of man, it has been etched into our sinful nature. However my concern for this particular child is that he has become dominated by a prideful spirit. I've realized that the danger of pride running amok in one's life is that it results in blindness. He ends up no longer being able to see it. He has justified, excused or accused for so long, that he no longer takes ownership in any conflict. He cannot see his sin. Oh, that is such a bad place to be.
The 1828 Webster Dictionary has quite the defining list for pride:
1. Inordinate self-esteem; an unreasonable conceit of one's own superiority in talents, beauty, wealth, accomplishments, rank or elevation in office, which manifests itself in lofty airs, distance, reserve, and often in contempt of others.
All pride is abject and mean.
Those that walk in pride he is able to abase. Dan.4.
2. Insolence; rude treatment of others; insolent exultation.
3. Generous elation of heart; a noble self-esteem springing from a consciousness of worth.
4. Elevation; loftiness.
5. Decoration; ornament; beauty displayed.
6. Splendid show; ostentation.
7. That of which men are proud; that which excites boasting.
I will cut off the pride of the Philistines. Zech.9. Zeph.3.
Pride, v.t. With the reciprocal pronoun, to pride one's self, to indulge pride; to take pride; to value one's self; to gratify self-esteem. They pride themselves in their wealth, dress or equipage. He prides himself in his achievements.
As we have been praying for this child, we have been examining our own hearts in this area, too. We have been asking the Lord to 'search our hearts and know our thoughts and see if there be any grievous way in us (Psalm 139:23-24).' God has opened my eyes to blind places in my own heart and has helped me to further understand this grievous sin of pride.
In the Bible, pride is associated with people who were ruthless, hateful and downright evil. It is associated with actions that are in opposition to the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control). James 4:6 tells us that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. On one hand, this verse is chilling: when I am prideful, God opposes me. Standing in direct opposition of God is a scary place to be. On the other hand, this verse is full of hope: when I humble myself, I receive an extra portion of His grace. Grace is poured into me--His free, unmerited love. Grace is poured into me--His favorable influence of the Spirit, enabling me to respond and live in His power. I guess it comes down to one question, really--Am I going to choose to stand against God with Him opposing me, or to stand with God, receiving His blessing?
Proverbs 16:18 tells us that pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Another chilling verse. Of course, we are all going to mess up, make mistakes and fall. Sometimes God uses a fall of some sort to teach us humility that we otherwise wouldn't have learned. That is, if we are willing to learn. Ultimately, therein lies the question: Are you teachable?
Being unteachable is really at the root of this heart-issue of pride. Choosing to not come up under authority = Unteachable. A 'know it all' mentality = Unteachable. Not allowing a voice into your life because you feel they are beneath you in age, experience, etc. = Unteachable.
Lastly, I have come to another conclusion lately in regard to the sin of pride: A heart that is full of pride has a leaky mouth. Yes, the poisonous venom of pride in one's life has a tendency to escape through the mouth. This should not surprise us because Luke 6:45 says that 'out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks.' 'Leaky mouth syndrome' comes out in a variety of ways. Sometimes it's in the form of arrogance. Sometimes it's mean-spirited gossip. Sometimes it's in the form of blame-shifting, justifying or excusing. Sometimes it's in the form of 'victim mentality', the 'woe is me' syndrome. Whatever the form, it's primary goal is to exalt self, rather than exalt God and others. As believers, the New Testament commands us to 'love God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength' and 'love others as ourselves'. Thus, I think we have come full circle once again: Exalting self opposes God and 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'.
Really, it comes down to one thing: Jesus. Jesus died for every one of our sins, including this one. My child, myself and everyone of us must humble ourselves and repent of this sin if we want to walk in freedom of it. It's a daily walk of examining ourselves, coming to the foot of the cross in humility and recieving grace.
Dear Lord,
I need a healthy heart check this morning. Open my eyes in regard to the poisonous sin of pride. I come before your throne of grace, asking for help in time of need. I want to experience freedom in all areas of my life, especially in my 'blind spots'. Open up my eyes! Give me your eyes to see!
Help my children not fall prey to the life-taking sin of pride. For that child in which I see pride dominating, I ask that you would open up his eyes to it. Replace pride with 'life-giving' humility. I know You are able to do this because You are in the business of trading death for life. I ask for a transaction to occur on this day--I ask that Jesus' blood pump life into my child's heart and also into my own heart. May it pump through and through so that all that we say and do will bring life and not death.
Jesus, be my All in All today--give me Your ability, Your strength and Your power to walk in humility. Only You can do this in me.
In Your precious name I pray,
Amen.
Lately, one of our children has been struggling with this sin. Now I know we are all going to struggle with pride to some degree because we are human. Since the fall of man, it has been etched into our sinful nature. However my concern for this particular child is that he has become dominated by a prideful spirit. I've realized that the danger of pride running amok in one's life is that it results in blindness. He ends up no longer being able to see it. He has justified, excused or accused for so long, that he no longer takes ownership in any conflict. He cannot see his sin. Oh, that is such a bad place to be.
The 1828 Webster Dictionary has quite the defining list for pride:
1. Inordinate self-esteem; an unreasonable conceit of one's own superiority in talents, beauty, wealth, accomplishments, rank or elevation in office, which manifests itself in lofty airs, distance, reserve, and often in contempt of others.
All pride is abject and mean.
Those that walk in pride he is able to abase. Dan.4.
2. Insolence; rude treatment of others; insolent exultation.
3. Generous elation of heart; a noble self-esteem springing from a consciousness of worth.
4. Elevation; loftiness.
5. Decoration; ornament; beauty displayed.
6. Splendid show; ostentation.
7. That of which men are proud; that which excites boasting.
I will cut off the pride of the Philistines. Zech.9. Zeph.3.
Pride, v.t. With the reciprocal pronoun, to pride one's self, to indulge pride; to take pride; to value one's self; to gratify self-esteem. They pride themselves in their wealth, dress or equipage. He prides himself in his achievements.
As we have been praying for this child, we have been examining our own hearts in this area, too. We have been asking the Lord to 'search our hearts and know our thoughts and see if there be any grievous way in us (Psalm 139:23-24).' God has opened my eyes to blind places in my own heart and has helped me to further understand this grievous sin of pride.
In the Bible, pride is associated with people who were ruthless, hateful and downright evil. It is associated with actions that are in opposition to the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control). James 4:6 tells us that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. On one hand, this verse is chilling: when I am prideful, God opposes me. Standing in direct opposition of God is a scary place to be. On the other hand, this verse is full of hope: when I humble myself, I receive an extra portion of His grace. Grace is poured into me--His free, unmerited love. Grace is poured into me--His favorable influence of the Spirit, enabling me to respond and live in His power. I guess it comes down to one question, really--Am I going to choose to stand against God with Him opposing me, or to stand with God, receiving His blessing?
Proverbs 16:18 tells us that pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Another chilling verse. Of course, we are all going to mess up, make mistakes and fall. Sometimes God uses a fall of some sort to teach us humility that we otherwise wouldn't have learned. That is, if we are willing to learn. Ultimately, therein lies the question: Are you teachable?
Being unteachable is really at the root of this heart-issue of pride. Choosing to not come up under authority = Unteachable. A 'know it all' mentality = Unteachable. Not allowing a voice into your life because you feel they are beneath you in age, experience, etc. = Unteachable.
Lastly, I have come to another conclusion lately in regard to the sin of pride: A heart that is full of pride has a leaky mouth. Yes, the poisonous venom of pride in one's life has a tendency to escape through the mouth. This should not surprise us because Luke 6:45 says that 'out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks.' 'Leaky mouth syndrome' comes out in a variety of ways. Sometimes it's in the form of arrogance. Sometimes it's mean-spirited gossip. Sometimes it's in the form of blame-shifting, justifying or excusing. Sometimes it's in the form of 'victim mentality', the 'woe is me' syndrome. Whatever the form, it's primary goal is to exalt self, rather than exalt God and others. As believers, the New Testament commands us to 'love God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength' and 'love others as ourselves'. Thus, I think we have come full circle once again: Exalting self opposes God and 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'.
Really, it comes down to one thing: Jesus. Jesus died for every one of our sins, including this one. My child, myself and everyone of us must humble ourselves and repent of this sin if we want to walk in freedom of it. It's a daily walk of examining ourselves, coming to the foot of the cross in humility and recieving grace.
Dear Lord,
I need a healthy heart check this morning. Open my eyes in regard to the poisonous sin of pride. I come before your throne of grace, asking for help in time of need. I want to experience freedom in all areas of my life, especially in my 'blind spots'. Open up my eyes! Give me your eyes to see!
Help my children not fall prey to the life-taking sin of pride. For that child in which I see pride dominating, I ask that you would open up his eyes to it. Replace pride with 'life-giving' humility. I know You are able to do this because You are in the business of trading death for life. I ask for a transaction to occur on this day--I ask that Jesus' blood pump life into my child's heart and also into my own heart. May it pump through and through so that all that we say and do will bring life and not death.
Jesus, be my All in All today--give me Your ability, Your strength and Your power to walk in humility. Only You can do this in me.
In Your precious name I pray,
Amen.
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