The Ultimate Gift...given by the ultimate lady

On June 27, 2010, the Lord called home Eric's grandmother, Margaret Polly. She was 84 years old. It was a bit surreal. You see, just a week prior we had attended the funeral of my grandmother. And now Eric's grandmother, too, was gone. Two grandmothers to pass away in two weeks seems almost too much to handle. It was and continues to be sad to no longer have them here, but it is also every bit of a celebration to know that these two ladies are with Jesus.

My prior post was a tribute to my grandmother, Mabel Winkler. This post is dedicated to Eric's grandmother, Margaret Polly, whom we all lovingly refer to as 'Mi'. Two days prior to her passing, Mi gave us the ultimate gift. She allowed all of her family members that were surrounding her to see the peace and comfort that she was experiencing as she began the 'passing on' process. Everyone who walked in their home that day undeniably felt the presence of God and saw Him radiating from her peaceful state. She talked of how she was seeing Jesus and she was ready to go to Him. It was beautiful and it was supernatural. It was the ultimate gift.

How I wish you could have known Mi. How I wish you could have experienced her funeral. You see, it was a celebration--a celebration of a life lived well, surrounded by a husband and family who loved her dearly. My sister in law, Heather, gave a beautiful eulogy depicting Mi's character that shown through even in her final hours. Eric wrote a eulogy, describing their years of growing up down the street from Mi and Gigi. They both did such a heart-felt, amazing job that I want to share their words with you:

"In 2 Phillipians 2:3 it says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider others better than yourself.” That verse is a picture of who my grandmother was. We called her Mi, but she was the least “Me” centered person that I have ever known.

She always put others before herself. That is a hard trait to come by these days. Her whole life was a picture of grace and servanthood. I do not remember a time in my life when she was not there for me. Every memory I have of her is good. Going to her home and sitting at the kitchen table with her was a resting place for my heart and soul. She was my safe place. She was complete and total comfort to me.
If you would have told me last week that we would be here today I would have never believed that I could be standing before you with such joy and peace. But Jesus gave us an amazing precious time with her last week and He used Mi’s grace to show us Himself.

Continuing to put her family first, last Thursday she called my Grandfather “Gigi” and my mom into the room and told them that it was time for her to go. She knew it was going to be too hard for us to tell her it was okay for her to leave, so she did it for us. She told Gigi what a wonderful husband he was, and my Mom what a wonderful daughter she was and how she had a wonderful life. She told them how much she loved them. Throughout the day she would reach her hand up twinkle her fingers and she told them she was reaching for Jesus. Mom said, “What does he look like mother,” and she replied “He is wonderful.” Continuing to think of others first, she told Gig, “I can’t wait for you to meet him, but he is better looking than you.” She really said that.

For the rest of the day following she proceeded to tell everyone how much she loved them and how much they meant to her. She talked to so many people that day. Nothing was left unsaid. She even planned this event here today. She told them, we have planned a lot of celebrations in this family, but I guess this is the first time we have planned a celebration for a funeral. She laughed so hard that day. She was so full of peace and joy. Mom has called it “the incredible gift” all week. It was the ultimate gift.

Gigi and Mi had a beautiful love story that is such an example to all of us. You two got to live the dream that everyone wants. I can’t tell you how much we have learned from living our lives watching you two together. It is precious to me. You were married to your best friend. You laughed together and had so much fun. In fact last week I believe she told you she only had two secrets from you in the 65 years you were married, and she would tell you one of them! You served each other faithfully.

Mom, you were such a wonderful daughter to her. She was your best friend and you were hers. She was so proud of you. You were her treasure. Dad, you were every bit her son. She never gave you anything but praise to me. She told me so often what a wonderful father I have. Eric and Adam, she was so proud of the husbands and parents that you’ve become. She spoke often of how proud she was of you both.

I am so thankful that our children were able to know her and be loved by her. The babies, as she lovingly called them, were her joy and her delight. They will miss their Mi.

The Bible describes love so beautifully in the 13th chapter of Corinthians. As I read it through I discovered that it describes Mi as well, because you see Mi was patient, and she was kind, she did not envy, she did not boast, she was not proud, she was not rude, she was not self –seeking, she was not easily angered, and she kept no record of wrongs. She always protected, always trusted, always hoped, and she now perseveres.

I cannot express what a privilege it is to be Margaret Polly’s granddaughter. I have heard over and over this week what a lady she was. She lived her life so well and she was full of grace even in her death. She was a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love in every way."

~Heather


"‘Mi’ is what we call her. Gigi were the words that came out for him. I guess when you’re the first grandson and you’re around your grandparents, toddler words come out and ‘Mi and Gigi’ were the ones that stuck. So from then on she was known as Mi. I’m writing about her because for those who know me best it doesn’t take a lot for me to tear up. So it probably wouldn’t make sense if I was up here.

So here we go….I would describe Mi best as a servant’s servant. She was always concerned about everybody besides herself. When we were celebrating Holidays, or at the lake it seemed like she never sat down. Always making sure we were taken care of. She never let us get up for seconds--she would be right there and re-fill our plates.

Growing up we also lived in Canterbury, so you know what that means….Mi and Gigi were right down the street. They had all the great food, little debbie’s, mini pizza’s from the Schwann’s truck, Coke’s, Sprite’s, everything that we didn’t have in our fridge. Instead, our refrigerator had Tab and Rice Cakes and occasionally, if we were lucky, chocolate jello that chilled overnight in the fridge (Heather probably remembers). So you can guess that I rode my bike and dropped in on Mi and Gigi’s and their refrigerator on a regular basis.

One of the reasons we moved from Nashville to Louisville is so my kids could have some of the same experiences I did growing up close to the Grandparents. Growing up with Mi and Gigi were some of the best times of my life.

Just the other day my 12 yr old Joshua was asking me about scholarships and college. First of all, I can’t believe he’s 12 and asking me those questions already. But I did what any Dad would do…I explained as best as I could. He asked me if I got a scholarship and of course I said I got several offers from all the big schools (not really), but decided to stay here and go to Murray State. He then proceeded to ask me how I got to go to college. I answered, “because of Mi and Gigi. They took care of everything.” He said, “Wow, that’s really awesome…and I said, “yeah, that’s the way they are.” Being a servant again….thinking of others.

In Proverbs 31:10-31 the scriptures talk about a good woman is hard to find and is worth far more than diamonds. She’s up before dawn preparing breakfast and planning her day. Her children respect and bless her…her husband joins in with words of praise. Many women have done wonderful things but you (Mi) have outclassed them all.

My wife and daughter did a bible study together called Proverbs 31 Princess. If Mi was in the bible study she would be considered the QUEEN of Proverbs 31.

Thursday was the last time that I got to see her. It was a beautiful day. The previous days she didn’t have a lot to say, but Thursday God brought her out and it was non-stop talking. Once again, she was concerned about me….my job, my family, and she asked about my van…do you like it? How does it drive etc…..once again….thinking of others. Not concerned about herself…..even in her last days which she knew were coming to a close.

You know that’s what Jesus did for us, he thought of us, sacrificed himself on a cross for our sins so we could have the opportunity to live with him in heaven. And as she stretched out both of her hands so confidently and ‘reached’ for Jesus, I pray that we will do the same. Reach for Jesus….draw close to him….and think of others first….Just like Mi did throughout her life and is doing right now next to Him."
`
~Eric



***This picture is of Eric's grandparents, Mi and Gigi, celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary on May 9 of this year.***

No, I am not kidding

Often, our kids play with the neighborhood boy--Ben--who lives across the street. He is an only child so it is like an instant party for him when our kids come out and play.

Ben is quite the creative fellow. So, I wasn't surprised when he brought out his magnifying glass on Friday afternoon and was trying to 'burn' things. Sophie ran inside to get an Oreo, saying they were going to try to 'burn' it. They were magnifying the rays of sunlight upon the object and basically trying to start a fire. I wasn't the least bit concerned--whoever heard of such a thing actually producing flames? I even thought to myself, "Hey, this can be my kid's science experiment for the week. Thanks, Ben!" (Sidenote: by the way, don't think for a minute I wasn't on to Sophie when she came in for the Oreo. If you know Sophie, you know her love for food and you know she had an ulterior motive. She had plans to eat that experiment when it was all said and done.)

Anyway, they spent their time Friday afternoon experimenting. So, Saturday rolls around. Wes and Jeremiah played outside with all the neighborhood kids for a little awhile before lunch. While they were having lunch I asked them: 'so what do you guys plan to do after lunch?'

Wes' response: 'Oh, we'll probably walk around with Ben and burn things.'

Nice.

I chuckle inwardly. I suppress a smile. Ha, Ha. Walk around and 'burn' things. Good thing it's all just innocent fun....

Ten minutes later I look out the front door to check on them and about pee in my pants. THERE IS A FIRE SHOOTING UP OFF MY NEIGHBOR'S DRIVEWAY WITH FLAMES ONE FOOT HIGH. The pyromaniacs are next to it, looking on. All three of them.

I throw open the door. 'THAT IS NOT FUNNY--PUT THAT OUT! THIS INSTANT!'

I dialed Ben's mom, whom I have on speed dial for reasons such as these. 'Excuse me, but there is a fire with one foot high flames in your driveway...'

Moral to the story? Do not let your child play with magnifying glasses and paper. Seriously.

Remembering

This month has been a month of remembering. My mother passed away on February 17 last year. I had no idea that the year anniversary of this date and the weeks leading up to it would be so painful and difficult. Each day of this month leading up to the 17th brought back memories of what I was doing a year ago that same day.



The month started with Wes' birthday on the first. We had a grand time celebrating his birthday with a few of his friends coming over and having a Clone War's party. We then quickly moved onto Joshua's birthday on the 12th. Of course, this is when it started really getting difficult. From the 12th on, each day I became more painfully aware of what I was doing on that day. Hardest of all, are the things I regret not doing. As I have relived each day, especially the day at the hospital on the day she died, I am bombarded with images that I wish I could erase. Oh, they are memories that I wished weren't there! The biggest word, though, that keeps going through my head is: REGRET.


-regret that I made the decision to go as planned on a trip to celebrate my oldest's son's birthday the Friday before she went in the hospital. I will always wonder if I had chosen to go to Indiana and be with my mom instead of going to Nashville if things would have turned out differently...

-regret that I asked the doctor a question that resulted in him taking her off the ventilator when he did...

-regret that I let the busyness of life keep me from going and spending more time than I did with my mom...why didn't I spend more time?

-regret that I couldn't handle watching her gasp and struggle to breathe and didn't stay in the room the whole time because it was so unbearable to watch. Oh, how I wish I had stayed right beside her now. Now I feel like I abandoned her.



Over this past year, the Lord has flooded me with his grace, joy, love and peace. He has healed my heart from so much of this--or so I thought. But then, as the year anniversary of these days came, all of those painful feelings resurfaced again. It has been like walking through it all over again, except this time, I feel all alone. Everyone around me is going on with their normal lives while I am stuck in this sad place with these sad memories. People want you to just move on and focus on the happy memories and not the sad. I suppose it is uncomfortable for them if you don't. Yes, focus on the good. Sure, that sounds good. I sure do wish I could do that. But it's just not as easy as all that. I can't just stuff all that down and ignore it. Neither can I stand still and allow it to keep me immobile and buried. There is no way around it. No, I must walk through it.

While no person can understand the loneliness, the pain, the sadness, God CAN. And He can use His people to allow beams of sunshine on these cloudy, gray days. He has done this for me. And those things are what have gotten me through these very dark days. A starbucks card from my neighbor on the 17th touched my heart. A knock on the door on the morning of that day--a friend bringing me a hug and my favorite candy meant the world to me. My daughter rallying our boys to make a card for me, with her writing 'You can do it!' along with 'have a good day. The Lord will guide you threw and threw' brought a smile to my face (and the smarties taped on the back of it--well that was an instant mood lifter!). The delivery of a bright flower on a bleak day...a listening ear...watching our kids so Eric and I could have a date...these have been rays of light and have kept the loneliness and sadness from taking over. (Sidenote: if you have a thought to do something for someone, do it! Don't dismiss it as something too small and insignificant. That small thing might be the thing that keeps that person going. I am preaching to myself too!)

The devotions on the 17th and 18th in My Utmost His Highest seemed directly sent from God. The one on the 17th was called 'Taking the Initiative Against Depression' based on 1 Kings 19:5 "Arise and eat"-- here is what it said:

'The angel in this passage did not give Elijah a vision, or explain the Scriptures to him, or do anything remarkable. He simply told Elijah to do a very ordinary thing, that is, to get up and eat. If we were never depressed, we would not be alive--only material things don't suffer depression. If human beings were not capable of depression, we would have no capacity for happiness and exaltation. There are things in life that are designed to depress us; for example, things that are associated with death. Whenever you examine yourself, always take into account your capacity for depression.

When the Spirit of God comes to us, He does not give us glorious visions, but He tells us to do the most ordinary things imaginable. Depression tends to turn us away from the everyday things of God's creation. But wherenever God steps in, His inspiration is to do the most natural, simple things--things we would never have imagined God was in, but as we do them we find Him there. The inspiration that comes to us in this way is an initiative against depression. But we must take the first step and do it in the inspiration of God . If, however, we do something simply to overcome our depression, we will only deepen it. But when the Spirit of God leads us instinctively to do something, the moment we do it the depression is gone. As soon as we arise and obey, we enter a higher plane of life.'

The devotion on the 18th was titled 'Taking the Initiative Against Despair' based on Matthew 26:46 "Rise, let us be going":

In the Garden of Gethsemane, the disciples went to sleep when they should have stayed awake, and once they realized what they had done it produced despair. the sense of having done something irreversible tends to make us despair. We say, "Well, it's all over and ruined now; what's the point in trying anymore." If we think this kind of despair is an exception, we are mistaken. It is a very ordinary human experience. Whenever we realize we have not taken advantage of a magnificient opportunity, we are apt to sink into despair. But Jesus comes and lovingly says to us, in essence, "Sleep on now. That opportunity is lost forever and you can't change that. But get up, and let's go on to the next thing." In other words, let the past sleep, but let it sleep in the sweet embrace of Christ, and let us go on into the invincible future with Him.

There will be experiences like this in each of our lives. We will have times of despair caused by real events in our lives, and we will be unable to lift ourselves out of them. The disciples, in this instance, had done a downright unthinkable thing--they had gone to sleep instead of watching with Jesus. But our Lord came to them taking the spiritual initiative against their despair and said, in effect, "Get up and do the next thing." If we are inspired by God, what is the next thing? It is to trust Him absolutely and to pray on the basis of His redemption. Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step.'

So, here I stand. I stand amidst sadness and despair. But I am trudging forward in faith. I am arising and doing those ordinary things of life--this is keeping me from sitting immobile in the muck and mire. And I am not dwelling on those things in the past that I cannot change. I am letting God's grace and mercy wash over me each morning and looking towards the future. With God's strength, I will overcome.

'Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.' Isaiah 43:18, 19

BFF

Just thinking about my like-minded, spirit filled friend today.

So blessed to have a friend who:

• has a passion for God's Word


• I can talk to for hours and it just feels like a few minutes


• thinks the way I do


• cracks me up


• thinks I'm funny


• encourages me


• is about as unfake as they come


• accepts me just like I am


• speaks Truth in my life


• thinks the Office is as funny as i do

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17

Iron sister, so glad to have shared the Beth Moore conference with you this past weekend--a memory to treasure forever. Love you friend!

PS -- And remember--STOP THE JOKE :)

I AM FOUR!!!

Jeremiah had a pool party for his birthday. Cousins were there and 'all his friends' came. Summer parties rock! Pizza by the poolside with friends and fam...it doesn't get any better than that!