When All Is Said and Done

When all is said and done, I want desperately for my children to speak of me as one who spent time with the Lord and in so doing that it flowed into every part of my life. One day when they look back upon their childhood, I want them to see a mother who prayed with them, taught them the holy scriptures and most importantly--LIVED IT OUT. Because if they remember me as one who led bible studies and prayer groups, who wrote and talked about the Christian life--but didn't see me live it out in the ordinary, mundane moments in life--then all the 'outer work' was in vain. You see, all the 'outer work' is really the easy part. The harder part is working it out moment by moment. The harder part is being Christ to your husband when he is doing the very thing that drives you nuts. The harder part is being Christ to your children when they are giving you a sour or defiant attitude. The harder part is daily dying to my own selfish desires in order to be the wife and mother that God has called me to be. It is sooooooooo hard. But it can be done if I rely on God's strength in all of my weaknesses.

Below, I am sharing with you a quote from a son about his mother. I read this in my devotional the other day--it was inspiring to me. It reminds me of what my purpose is. It reminds me that the season--right now--is to disciple these children with whom God has entrusted me. It reminds me to not get sidetracked with other things right now. My earnest prayer is that one day my children--too--would speak of me this way. Yes, I have a long way to go. I mess up a lot. One thing is for sure, though--His mercies are new every morning.

My mother made it a habit every day, immediately after breakfast, to spend an hour in her room, reading the Bible, meditating over it, and praying to the Lord. That hour was like a blessed fountain from which she drew the strength and sweetness that perpared her to complete all her tasks. It also enabled her to maintain a genuine peacefulness in spite of the normal trying worries and pettiness that so often accompany life in a crowded neighborhood. As I think of her life and all that she had to endure, I see the absolute triumph of the grace of God in the ideal Christian lady. She was susch a lovely person that I never saw her lose her temper or speak even one word in anger. I never heard her participate in idle gossip or make a disparaging remark about another person. In fact, I never saw in her even the hint of an emotion unbecoming to someone who had drunk from the 'the river of the water of life' (Rev. 22:1) and who had eaten of 'the living bread that came down from heaven' (John 6:51) ~Frederick William Farrar

Okay, I do have to make one last comment. I have to admit that it does sound a bit idealistic. Maybe, like me, you read this and immediately think--Yeah right. She never lost her temper? She never had an unbecoming emotion--NEVER? Yes, I had those same thoughts too. I think we can read that and immediately feel guilty, knowing that in our own lives this is not the case. And, truly, in this woman's life I am sure it wasn't the case either. Nobody is perfect. This mother wasn't perfect. The point is--this is what she was characterized by. And what we are characterized by is what we will be remembered by. I am sure she had some bad days, but the beauty of her meek and quiet spirit--enabled only through Christ--outshone every bit of it. The time she spent with the Lord enabled her to be what she could not be on her own.

Yes, I am an absolute mess. I am a sinner in need of a Savior. We all are. This mother must have understood that too. She allowed Him to be her Savior and be what she could not be. She
immersed herself in scripture and believed by faith that He could be all things that she could not. We too, can do that.

So Thankful

I am so thankful for Jesus. I am so thankful that He came down to this earth in the form of a man and lived a holy, blameless life. I am so thankful that he died on the cross for my every sin. I am so thankful that he rose on the third day so that one day I too can have eternal life. I am so thankful for a loving, yet just, God. I am so thankful that He opened my eyes to the yuck in my life--that He showed me I am a sinner and there is not one thing I can do to save myself. That not one of us is righteous--not one. I am so thankful that 'God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life ~John 3:16.' I am so thankful that He sent us a Savior--someone to save us from drowning. I am so thankful that He calls us to Himself. I am so thankful to have a relationship with Him and to walk through this life with Him. I am thankful that through Him I can have peace and joy--even in great difficulties and hardship. I am thankful that this life here on earth is not all there is! I am thankful to belong to Him! I am thankful that Jesus' blood covers my sins--a cross word, a rash action, all my errors big and small--COMPLETELY. I am so thankful that this free gift from God took nothing from me except BELIEF. Belief in Jesus. Jesus--non political, non religious, not of this world. JESUS. LOVING, HOLY, RIGHTEOUS, FORGIVING, JUST, GOD INCARNATE. JESUS.

I love you, sweet Jesus. Thank you for giving me life.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, "BUT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH." Romans 1:16-17

Perseverance

A couple of months ago, Eric competed in a half iron man. This triathlon consists of swimming 1.2 miles, biking 56 miles, and running 13.1 miles. Only one triathlon surpasses this one--the full Iron Man. Yes, that would be twice this distance--swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and running 26.2 miles. A full iron man on average takes at least twelve hours to complete. Thus, Eric hoped to complete the half in six hours. This triathlon was the first one of such magnitude for him ever to attempt. He was ready, though. He had put in the hours and trained hard. Now it was time to perform.

As the race approached, it appeared that all the odds were stacked against him. First of all, he was out of town for work most of the week beforehand. Secondly, he caught a flu virus that had affected some of our children in the prior week. Traveling in and of itself can be exhausting, but traveling while you are sick is just plain miserable. As he left for Boston on Monday, he had chills and body aches. As the week progressed, his fever broke but he began coughing and hacking up phlegm. "At least the fever is gone," I thought optimistically. The fever came back, though, on Thursday night as he traveled home. On Friday, the day before the triathlon, Eric's temperature was 101. He had chills. He was hacking left and right. He was miserable.

Not only did Eric have the sickness to contend with, he also had to contend with the naysayers--his wife being one of them! Myself and a few other female family members :) , while having the best intentions, weren't encouraging. We threw questions and comments out there like: 'Are you sure this is a good idea?' 'You're going to go ahead and go through with this?' 'You're going to wind up in the hospital!' Mind you, our questions and comments came from concern and love for him--we didn't want him to suffer more and wind up even sicker. Looking back, though, I realize now that all it did was cast doubt and discouragement on the already grim situation.

By Friday evening, as I realized that this guy was going to compete in this race, come hell or high water, I wholeheartedly got behind him and determined that he was going to need our prayer support every step of the way. As I left him a note to read prior to running the next morning, I asked God for just the right words. God impressed upon me to remind him that it was going to be God's supernatural strength--not his own--that would get him through the race. Philippians 4:13 never seemed more tangible as I wrote the words on his card 'You CAN do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you!' and 'He is your strength in your weakness!'

The next day, the kids and I spent the day going to different spots along the race route to cheer Eric on. Once again, I was reminded of the excitement of watching a race of sheer endurance. There is nothing quite like cheering on people who have put in hours and hours of preparation. We yelled and cheered until our voices were hoarse. Watching Eric come across the finish line was exhilarating, to say the least. He finished in 5:52, beating his goal of six hours. I can't imagine the amount of satisfaction he must have felt.

Can you believe that Eric did not cough one single time throughout that race? No, not one time. God definitely was His strength and sustained him during that race. I thought about whether or not I would have stuck it out if I had been that sick. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have. I would have thrown in the towel and then missed out on what God wanted to do. My husband really etched a picture in my mind that day of what true perseverance looks like. True perseverance happens when all odds are stacked against you. True perseverance happens when you dig down deep and muster it up when it feels like you've got nothing left to give. True perseverance is staying the course no matter what is thrown your way. It's keeping the faith. It's standing strong until the end.

My husband's steadfastness conquered a triathlon that day. My prayer is that these lessons learned physically will transfer over into our spiritual lives. I yearn for us to live our lives intentionally for the Lord. I yearn to do the hard things--whatever those things might be. I yearn to not shrink back and bow out due to fear. I yearn to give it our all and never throw in the towel. I yearn to face suffering head on without complaint or whine. I yearn to rely on the Lord's strength through and through. I yearn...to keep writing, but my time's up. The dishes are calling my name.

Living it Out

The Lord is speaking directly into my life this morning. I would go as far as to say that He is shouting it. It is pretty elementary, really. He is telling me, basically, 'Don't just read about the Christian life, but DO IT! Don't just talk the talk, WALK THE WALK!'

This morning He spoke it through my devotional: 'The moment you forsake the matter of sanctification or neglect anything else on which God has given you His light, your spiritual life begins to disintegrate within you. Continually bring the truth out into your real life, working it out into every area, or else even the light that you possess will itself prove to be a curse....If you say you are sanctified, show it....your theology must work itself out, exhibiting itself in our most common everyday relationships. Our Lord, "...unless your righteousness exceeds the righteous ness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:20).'

Am I living out God's Word practically? Is it coming out in the nitty grittiness of every day life? What comes out of me when I am squeezed--lemon or lemonade? Am I patient when my children push or try me? Do I speak out of anger or out of love? Such questions could go on and on and on and the answers wouldn't be adequate. ...Ugh...ugh...ouch...

Lord,
I groan in my the fullness of my humanity. I am sick in the pit of my stomach over my sin. My answers are inadequate but you Lord are more than adequate. I may fall and fail, but you never do. I rest in the fact that your love covers a multitude of sins. I rest in the fact that you cover me! That you pick me up and save me! Please, please, please--I beg you--sanctify me through and through.. I love you, sweet Jesus.

Repentance

I hurt somebody's feelings yesterday. Until I could resolve it, I spent two hours sick to my stomach and my thoughts going everywhere. The situation became huge in my head and I couldn't get it out of my mind until it got made right. It made me so sick to my stomach that I wanted to throw up. It was the worst feeling ever. I never want to go through that again. I am so thankful that it was resolved quickly; I couldn't have lived that way for very long!

This morning, my devotional hit me right between the eyes:
'Repentance does not cause a sense of sin--it causes a sense of inexpressible unworthiness. When I repent, I realize that I am absolutely helpless, and I know that through and through I am not worthy even to carry His sandals. Have I repented like that, or do I have a lingering thought of possibly trying to defend my actions? The reason God cannot come into my life is that I am not at the point of complete repentance.' Oswald Chambers

Even though I am so unworthy, I am thankful to serve a God who is completely worthy. And I am thankful to have family and friends who love me even when I say or do something stupid. Mostly, I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for taking on my sins (and all of mankind's, for that matter) so that I never have to bear them.

Quotes this week that have got me thinking....

• "Under conviction of worldliness, many well meaning persons have simply transferred their huge egos from the world to the church. BEWARE OF SPIRITUAL AMBITION. We are most useful to God when poured free of self and full of Christ." --Beth Moore
• "The true character of the loveliness that speaks for God is always unnoticed by the one possessing that quality. Conscious influence is prideful and unchristian. If i wonder if I am being of any use to God, I instantly lose the beauty and the freshness of the touch of the Lord....in the Christian life, godly influence is never conscious of itself. If we are conscious of our influence, it ceases to thave the genuine loveliness which is characteristic of the touch of Jesus." "Blesses are the poor in Spirit..." Matthew 5:3 (prior quote--Oswald Chambers)
• "Must life be considered a failure for someone compelled to stand still, forced into inaction and required to watch the great, roaring tides of life from shore? No--victory is then to be won by standing still and quietly waiting. Yet this is a thousand times harder to do than in the past, when you rushed headlong into the busyness of life. It requires much more courage to stand and wait and still not lose heart or lose hope, to submit to the will of God, to give up opportunities for work and leave honors to others, and to be quiet, confident and rejoicing while the busy multitiude goes happily along their way. The greatest life is: "after you have done everything, to stand" " (Eph. 6:13) --J.R. Miller
• "I am learning that if I am having trouble submitting to my husband, it actually comes down to the fact that I am having trouble submitting to my Lord." --my friend, Kathy Franklin
• "For I was hungry, while you had all you needed. I was thirsty, but you drank bottled water. I was a stranger, and you wanted me deported. I needed clothes, but you needed more clothes. I was sick, and you pointed out the behaviors that led to my sickness. I was in prison, and you said I was getting what I deserved." --Richard E. Stearns version of Matthew 25:42-43

NOW

Are you like me and put things off? Do you ever think, "I'm going to write that person a note!" and then never do it? Way too often I am telling people, "I wrote a note to you in my head!" This might be a funny thing to say. Sadly, though, those words in my head never encouraged or helped anyone. They just sat there. Idle. Dead. Lost forever. Words that could have been used to speak life into someone else's life.

I can be the world's worst procrastinator. Oh, I hate this about myself! I let the present moment tasks keep me from doing little things for other people. The momentary obligations seem so large before me that those thoughts I have of 'making that phone call' or 'writing that note' all too often get swallowed up and forgotten about.

Lately, my time of bible study has been on this very point. Several times in the passed couple of weeks I have read a devotional or heard a sermon about not putting off tomorrow what you can do today. This morning was no exception. It was once again about this very point. I am pretty sure the Lord is trying to tell me something. I am reminded of the Nike slogan: Just Do It. That is what I hear the Lord saying to me: "Just do it. Do it NOW." The words I read this morning in 'Streams in the Desert' spoke so powerfully to me that I thought I'd share them with you:

What shall I do? I expect to pass through this world but once. Therefore any good work, kindness, or service I can render to any person or animal, let me do it now. Let me not neglcet or delay to do it, for I will not pass this way again. an Old Quaker saying

It isn't the thing you do, dear,
It's the thing you leave undone,
That gives you the bitter heartache
At the setting of the sun;
The tender word unspoken,
The letter you did not write,
The flower you might have sent, dear,
Are your haunting ghosts at night.

The stone you might have lifted
Out of your brother's way,
The bit of heartfelt counsel
You were hurried too much to say;
The loving touch of the hand, dear,
The gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time or thought for,
With troubles enough of your own.

These little acts of kindness,
So easily out of mind,
These chances to be angels,
Which even mortals find--

They came in nights of silence,
To take away the grief,
When hope is faint and feeble,
And a drought has stopped belief.

For life is all too short, dear,
And sorrow is all too great,
To allow our slow compassion
That tarries until too late.
And it's not the thing you do, dear,
It's the thing you leave undone,
That gives you the bitter heartache,
At the setting of the sun.

Adelaide Proctor

Give what you have for you never know--to someone else it may be better than you can even dare to think. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow