Read this in Oswald Chambers, 'My Upmost for His Highest' this morning:
...Paul did not say that he separated himself, but "when it pleased God, who separated me..." (Galatians 1:15). Paul was not overly interested in his own character. And as long as our eyes are focused on our own personal holiness, we will never even get close to the full reality of redemption. Christian workers fail because they place their desire for their own holiness over their desire to know God. "Don't ask me to be confronted with the strong reality of redemption on behalf of the filth of human life surrounding me today; what I want is anything God can do for me to make me more desirable in my own eyes." To talk that way is a sign that the reality of the gospel of God has not begun to touch me. there is no reckless abandon to God in that. God cannot deliver me while my interest is merely in my own character. Paul was not conscious of himself. He was recklessly abandoned, totally surrendered and separated by God for one purpose--TO PROCLAIM THE GOSPEL OF GOD (see Romans 9:3).
Just thinking about this in terms of parenting today. Eric and I are pouring our whole selves right now into parenting our children. We want them to pursue holy lives. However, do we get so caught up in wanting our children to be holy and pursue holiness for the sake of holiness OR are we discipling our children with the goal that they will have a burning passion bo proclaim the gospel of God? What is my intention? Do I want my children to grow up good and moral so that I can get a pat on the back or do I want them to be passionately proclaiming Jesus as their Savior because of my love for the Savior myself?
So, anyway, not even sure I am making sense today--I know it makes sense in my head :). These are the ramblings and thoughts I am chewing on today. Just my own goals and intentions and how they can so often be selfish and 'all about me' and not about Jesus. Just seeing how big my own sin is and how thankful I am that Jesus died for me and took away my sin so that I could have life!